


like a mother

by Lanster



Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Mommy Issues, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-27 01:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20752325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanster/pseuds/Lanster
Summary: Suddenly there is an ice-cold lump in Homelander's gut, and his throat is arid, and something aches inside the ribcage, not lust but the deep-rooted unfathomable longing.He leans into Madelyn's touch not giving it a second thought.





	like a mother

**Author's Note:**

> if some of the sentences or just choices of words seem weird, feel free to let me know! I don't really have much experience with writing in English, and I don't know how to find a beta raeder so yeah

Deep down, Homelander knows what she is doing when she lays a hand on his cheek. After all, there may be a reason why do the words mother and manipulation start with the same letter.

Madelyn's skin, always warm, delicate, mildly smells of lavender organic cream and underneath that, barely recognisable, her breast milk. Homelander lowers eyelids — eyelashes trembling while eyes slightly rolling backwards — and simply lets this indulging sensation wash over him. Like a wave of fragile, indistinct pleasure. He doesn't want it, whatever it is, to become shattered so he avoids reflecting on what Madelyn Stillwell is actually doing by taking up this almost parental role for him.

In a strange kind of way she is like a mother he's never had, but not exactly. There is a fine line she's deliberately crossing all the time that turns everything they share with each other into a twisted mess. Homelander can't really tell if he likes it or not; nevertheless he just isn't capable of resisting Madelyn. Affection is affection, doesn't matter what it is wrapped up in. And as they say, ignorance is blessed.

_'I know you think you can do better than all written speeches I give you, and you are definitely right; it's just now is not the time for improvisation and passion. We must do it cut and dried, without going off script.'___

_ __ _

_ __ _

Madelyn always speaks dropping honey and spinning silk threads; she coaxes, flatters, praises, making sure he feels special. Divine. As if he is a god — bloodthirsty and vain pagan god with vast aversion towards humanity and a Jesus Christ mask over his face to conceal his true appalling nature and attract crowds of people. He takes whatever he wants and strikes down upon those unworthy whoever tries to challenge him.

But why wouldn't he be that way? Why would he empathize with people, have compassion for them? All of his childhood they've been far-far away from him like stars in the night sky. Cold, indifferent, unreachable observers. The concept of empathy seems too unfamiliar and unnatural, he lacks necessarily feelings on the fundamental level since they've never been built in him and now all opportunities are long gone. It's okay, though. Homelander doesn't really need to understand people and feel for them to be the greatest superhero. He has already proven that many times.

And also, it's not like he is completely numb to others. There is Maeve, there is Stillwell. In his own way he cares for them both, at least to some extent. 

Homelander opens eyes and stares at Madelyn for a long time, scanning, picking up movements of the tiniest muscles of her face, how they are clenching under the skin keeping a little smile on her lips up; heart pumping contractions speed up lightly under his gaze, reacting to hormones being thrown into the bloodstream; velvet bronchial tree within lungs blossoms when her breast rises up, inhaling. She seems so tender and easily breakable when he sees her whole as a basic human vessel. Just a body, a nicely constructed, yet imperfect meat machine for genes to be carried, preserved and passed on to the future generation. 

It is nothing like him at all. He can't pass on his genes so there must be more to him than just being this sort of machine.

_'You'll be a good boy for me, won't you?'_ She asks with a soft voice, looking in his eyes firmly as if she has no fear of him. As if she is fucking sure she can control him by sweet-talking and nursing. 

Madelyn is amusing. Homelander could kill her with one laser glance or few lazy moves. It's that trivial. Still, he finds himself nodding at her question unconsciously, and her hand on his cheek is rubbing against his flawless, bulletproof skin whilst he is moving his head. This sensation feels too nice so he misses the moment Madelyn's shifted closer to him on the couch.

_'That's good, sweetheart. Just let me take care of you.'_

Her hand slides higher, now stroking his hair while the other one drops to his knee, subtly caressing with only fingertips. Somehow that feels like being vulnerable. Vincible. Being the one who gets X-rayed instead of the inverse. Suddenly there is an ice-cold lump in Homelander's gut, and his throat is arid, and something aches inside the ribcage, not lust but the deep-rooted unfathomable longing. 

He leans into Madelyn's touch not giving it a second thought. From the corner of eyes, right before closing them again, he catches how the smile on her lips dies, twisting into weariness and distaste for a split second. 

Seeing this doesn't hurt him since being hurt is beneath him. Being hurt is for primitive, usual people and Homelander isn't one of them, he is the mightiest superhero. Noticing cracks and splits in Madelyn's image do nothing to him because seeing doesn't require acknowledging. 

Affection is affection, fake or not, he will take it all until she has nothing left to give him, but only lies.


End file.
